Don't Put in the Newspaper I'm Mad: A look at Two Songs About Online Anger

I have not listened much to Taylor Swift’s new album, The Life of a Showgirl, save for the opening lines of the fifth song, “Eldest Daughter”. I am reliably told by my swiftie sister that the rest of the song is great and some of Swift’s best work. I do not know personally, because these first few lines are filled with everything I hate most in a song. The song begins by lamenting the state of the internet with it being filled with takes and trolls. It violates a sacred rule I learned early on in my adolescence on the internet, never let them know they got to you. This thinking has fallen out of favour as the social media platforms that increasingly govern our spaces online push for negativity that breeds engagement. And yet, I think this rule still has value if it is applied right. Please know I am not talking about things that genuinely effect people’s lives such as stalking or harassment. I am talking about the type of trolling done where on will say anything to get a rise out of a person. The thing Taylor Swift calls out directly in her song. Trolls thrive on knowing they have pissed someone off, denying that leads them to pick a target that is not you. It is hard but it denies them their triumph, don’t feed the trolls had been internet law for years for a reason.

Yet, for some reason, famous people cannot stop but feeding the trolls, including, like Swift, releasing songs that directly antagonize the trolls and state that the artist is not bothered by their antics. This is my least favourite type of song. The reason for my hatred is simple, if the trolls really didn’t bother you, you wouldn’t write, produce, and then release a song about how unbothered you are. It is an ultimate act of self sabotage, also, the songs are never good because they are an artist whining about their critics for a whole song and just not enjoyable. One artist who I enjoy has at least two of these songs and they will be the subject of this blog.

Mori Calliope is an interesting artist to me. I have attempted to listen to her multiple times over the years, with no success until a few months ago. Before, I found her grating and not particularly interesting yet the last successful attempt started with a song that is very much not her usual fair, “End of a Life” I found this song compelling and then stumbled into other greats such as her newest song, “Orpheus” and her duet with Hoshimachi Suisei “CapSule” an absolutely terrific song. At this point, I simply but her whole catalogue on shuffle, enjoying every song well enough until “Internet Brain rot” got on the shuffle. It is everything i despise in a song to the point that when i added the album to my library, i purposely left the song out, something i have never done before. A few months later and I feel like listening to her again so i put on the shuffle and another song comes up, “Guh”. this song also features similar themes about internet hate, yet surprisingly, I don’t hate this song. Thus, this blog. I would like to compare and contrast these two songs to figure out why one is terrible and a stain on everyone who had a part in releasing that trainwreck, and the other i am largely fine with.

“Internet Brain Rot” starts about as well as one can hope, the background music is good enough being a somewhat forceful affair but still having a bounce to it. It is when Mori starts singing that things go bad. after the intro where she talks about all the artists on the internet, she immediately dives right in to complain about people not liking her, “They’ll call ya out for breathing just to get their clout”. and how you’re attacked for not having the same opinions. The chorus to the song is her going “whatcha gunna do, I’m offending you” multiple times. Mori, I am not offended, I am bored. This song does nothing new, it would fit right in at a comedy club surrounded by old washed up comedians complaining that nobody laughs at their “jokes” where they drop the word faggot and make fun of tranny women. there is no bite to the lyrics, its all the same tired things we’ve been hearing since minorities dared to call out the bigoted bullshit of rich people. On top of the lyrics being the worst of her career, the actual music is grating as well. The bombastic intro doesn’t let up, this is characteristic of her music, yet in this case it hits you and does not let up. It doesn’t have an enjoyable flow ans the high pitched whistle in the chorus is terrible. The whole song feels as though it is structured to be this harsh tell all truth while consisting of lyrics as we have discussed, are exceptionally tired and rote. It is attempting to hit you in the face but instead misses and hits your head and makes you wish it you were listening to something better.

“Guh” takes the similar idea but executes them much better. For starters, the music is more subdued, relying on a better less aggressive baseline which sounds much better. In addition, “Guh” has something “Internet Brain Rot” wished it had, flow. As you can probably tell, I am not a music critic, yet the delivery of the lyrics in “Guh” is very good. Mori’s very quick rapping fits the song well and is just enjoyable to listen to. The content of the lyrics is also much better, the chorus still brings in the idea of a dialogue with the trolls and even attempts to troll them back similar to “Internet Brain Rot” but the contents of those trolls are much better. Rather than rely on pissing off the haters by giving them what they want, she fires back. “I’ve got my cords, you’ve got your keyboard”. She is most likely more successful than her detractors so she attacks them for it. Is this still inadvisable? Yes, but it makes for a much more interesting song. She also disarms these trolls somewhat by stating “You’ll never roast me better than I roast myself” The criticism can’t get to her because she attacks herself way worse. This all makes the chorus much more enjoyable to listen to and thus the song is just better. “Guh” works better because it feels like it takes itself slightly less seriously. The background instrumentals is a little bouncier despite being less in your face. She also seems to be significantly less angry in the song. She spends time in song pointing out how willing she is to make fun of herself and even does so in the song. This lends the song something to smile about and makes it enjoyable instead of uncomfortable.

These songs came out about a year and a half apart. “Guh” was released as part of the Your Mori. EP in April 2021, “Internet Brain Rot” was an album track on the December 2022 album Sinderella. What happened is fairly obvious to see. Mori Calliope made her debut as a live streamer and musician in 2020. She was then subject to the absolutely terrible conduct the internet gives to successful women on the internet, even through the shield Vtubing allows one to have. She released “Guh” as an ill-conceived attempt to fire back or at least vent her frustrations. This was ineffective or she needed to vent more or things got worse so she decided to release “Internet Brain Rot”. I am not here to kick a woman at what was most likely her lowest point, nor am I here to excuse to harassment she faced. This was probably a very complex time in her life as she settled into the new normal of her life as an internet celebrity. I do not find the clear downgrade in quality between these two songs comfortable to note. I am also uninterested in exploring the exact triggers for these two songs and what had her so angry for the second, “Internet Brain Rot”. I do not particularly care for internet attacks on people. Thus, I will end by reinforcing this is a discussion of a misfire by an artist I like. “Guh” is also an enjoyable enough song despite the content being usually my least favourite type of song. But the existence of these two songs exemplifies why I believe this is a poor choice of song topic, the spectrum is the worst song a good artist has made by a wide margin to fairly okay at best, a song i would never choose to listen to but won’t skip when it comes on shuffle. The risk of a terrible song clearly is not worth to highs of half-decent at best.

References

Mori Calliope CH. Hololive-EN. (2021, April 3). Guh [Video]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Q-smqaUgA&list=RDn8Q-smqaUgA&start_radio=1

Mori Calliope CH. Hololive-EN. (2022, December 14). Internet Brain Rot [Video]. Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzJs75TNhBc&list=RDjzJs75TNhBc&start_radio=1